Before you fix the behavior, build the bond. Here's why connection is the foundation of better behavior.
It’s tempting to jump straight into correction when a child misbehaves: “Stop yelling,” “Don’t hit,” “That’s not okay.” But often, correction without connection just creates distance — and rarely changes behavior long-term.
Children act out when they feel disconnected. Whether it’s from a long day at school, a disrupted routine, or even a quiet need for your attention, behavior is often a message in disguise.
What they’re really asking is, “Do you see me? Do you still love me, even when I mess up?”
Instead of jumping straight to discipline, try leading with connection:
1) Get on their level — physically and emotionally.
2) Use a soft voice and eye contact.
3) Acknowledge the feeling behind the behavior: “You seem really frustrated.”
Once they feel seen, kids are more open to guidance. Correction works best when it’s built on trust.
So next time your child acts out, ask yourself: What connection are they missing? You might be surprised how much that shift can change everything.
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