Why Staying Calm Matters More Than Getting It Perfect

In the messy, beautiful chaos of parenting, your calm presence often matters more than the perfect response.

We all want to be “good” parents — responsive, consistent, loving, and wise. But in the heat of the moment — when your toddler throws their lunch or your 8-year-old melts down over bedtime — it’s not easy to remember the books, advice, or even your own best intentions.

The truth is, children don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be calm.

Why? Because when we stay calm, we model emotional regulation. We show our kids that big feelings aren’t dangerous, and that problems can be handled — not with panic or punishment, but with presence.

This doesn't mean bottling things up or pretending you're not frustrated. It means taking a breath before you respond. It means pausing — even for a few seconds — so your child sees that feelings can come and go, and that we can choose how to act.

So the next time you feel yourself about to snap, try this:

1) Notice the moment. Say to yourself, “I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
2) Breathe once. In and out.
3) Slow it down. Respond instead of react.

That pause doesn’t just help you — it teaches your child a life skill they’ll carry with them forever.